Funny nigeria mock news

I've got some "exclusive" and "unverified" reports for you! Here are some funny Nigeria mock news:

  1. BREAKING: Lagos State Government Introduces New Traffic Rule: "Horns Only" - In a bid to reduce congestion, the Lagos State Government has announced a new traffic rule where all vehicles are only allowed to use their horns to navigate through the city. "It's a game-changer," said a government spokesperson.
  2. Nigerian Army Launches Operation "Jollof Rice" to Combat Hunger - In a surprise move, the Nigerian Army has launched a new operation aimed at combating hunger in the country. Soldiers will be deployed to distribute jollof rice to all corners of the country. "It's a war we must win," said a military spokesperson.
  3. Buhari Appoints New Minister of Entertainment: "Patoranking's Uncle" - In a shocking move, President Buhari has appointed Patoranking's uncle as the new Minister of Entertainment. "He's got the skills," said a government source.
  4. Nigerian Air Force Introduces New Aircraft: "The Jollof Jet" - The Nigerian Air Force has unveiled its latest aircraft, the Jollof Jet, which is capable of flying at supersonic speeds while carrying a payload of jollof rice. "It's a game-changer for our national cuisine," said a military spokesperson.
  5. EFCC Arrests 10 People for Hoarding Fufu - In a surprise raid, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has arrested 10 people for hoarding fufu in their homes. "It's a national emergency," said an EFCC spokesperson.
  6. Nigerian Government Introduces New Currency: "The Naira-rito" - In a bid to boost the economy, the Nigerian Government has introduced a new currency, the Naira-rito, which is pegged to the value of a plate of jollof rice. "It's a bold move," said a government spokesperson.
  7. Buhari Appoints New Head of State Security: "Davido's Bodyguard" - In a surprise move, President Buhari has appointed Davido's bodyguard as the new Head of State Security. "He's got the skills," said a government source.
  8. Nigerian Police Launch Operation "Suya" to Combat Crime - In a bid to reduce crime in the country, the Nigerian Police have launched a new operation, Operation Suya, where police officers will be deployed to distribute suya to all corners of the country. "It's a war we must win," said a police spokesperson.

Remember, these are just mock news reports and not meant to be taken seriously!