The onion breaking news

I'm happy to provide you with some humorous "breaking news" from The Onion! Here are a few examples:

BREAKING: Nation Horrified By Graphic Video of Politician Keeping Campaign Promise

Washington D.C. - In a shocking and disturbing turn of events, a video has surfaced showing a politician actually following through on a campaign promise. The footage, which has been circulating on social media, shows the politician delivering on a key campaign pledge, leaving many Americans feeling uneasy and unsure of what to do.

BREAKING: New Study Reveals Most People Still Don't Understand How to Use Snapchat

Washington D.C. - In a stunning finding, a new study has revealed that a staggering 99.9% of Americans still have no idea how to use the popular social media app Snapchat. The study, which was conducted by a team of experts, found that most people are still confused by the app's filters, lenses, and overall functionality.

BREAKING: Local Man Still Unable to Find His Keys After 20 Minutes of Searching

Suburban Chicago - In a developing story, a local man has been unable to find his keys after searching for 20 minutes. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, has been scouring his home and yard for the missing keys, but so far, they have not been located.

BREAKING: New Poll Reveals Most Americans Still Don't Care About the Environment

Washington D.C. - In a shocking new poll, it has been revealed that a majority of Americans still don't care about the environment. The poll, which was conducted by a leading research firm, found that 75% of respondents said they would rather not think about climate change, pollution, and other environmental issues.

I hope these "breaking news" stories from The Onion brought a smile to your face!