New years resolution puns

Pun-ny New Year's resolutions! Here are some resolutions with a dash of humor:

  1. Eat more cake: Because "resolutions" are just a fancy word for "excuses to eat more cake."
  2. Learn to adult: I resolve to finally figure out how to use a washing machine without setting off the fire alarm.
  3. Get fit: I vow to exercise regularly... or at least take the stairs instead of the elevator.
  4. Read more books: I promise to finish at least one book without falling asleep halfway through.
  5. Travel more: I resolve to take a trip... to the couch, where I'll binge-watch my favorite shows.
  6. Be more productive: I vow to accomplish more... like finally organizing my digital files... or maybe just cleaning my desk.
  7. Learn a new skill: I promise to learn how to... make a decent cup of coffee without burning the water.
  8. Save money: I resolve to save... at least enough to buy a new video game.
  9. Volunteer more: I vow to help out... by donating my old clothes to Goodwill... or maybe just recycling more.
  10. Be more patient: I promise to wait... for the coffee to brew... without checking my phone every 5 seconds.
  11. Improve my cooking: I resolve to cook... without setting off the fire alarm... or at least not too often.
  12. Practice self-care: I vow to take care of myself... by taking a long, hot bath... with a glass of wine.
  13. Learn a new language: I promise to learn... at least the phrase "Where's the bathroom?" in a foreign language.
  14. Get more sleep: I resolve to sleep... at least 7 hours a night... without hitting the snooze button 10 times.
  15. Be more organized: I vow to organize... my digital files... or at least my sock drawer.

May these puns inspire you to make some (semi-serious) New Year's resolutions!