New mom quotes funny

The joys of motherhood! Here are some funny new mom quotes to make you laugh and nod your head in solidarity:

1. "I used to be a functioning member of society. Now I'm just a human milk dispenser."
2. "I'm not tired, I'm just... recharging my batteries... for the 12th time today."
3. "I never knew I could love someone so much, and yet still want to strangle them."
4. "My baby's first word was 'mama,' but I'm pretty sure it was just a reflex from all the screaming."
5. "I'm not a morning person, but I've become one... at 3 am... every day."
6. "I've lost my social life, my sanity, and my waistline. But I've gained a tiny human who loves me unconditionally."
7. "I used to think I was a good multitasker, but now I can barely multitask between diaper changes and coffee refills."
8. "I'm not sure what's more exhausting, being a new mom or pretending to be a functioning adult."
9. "I've started to think that 'sleep when your baby sleeps' is just a myth perpetuated by sadists."
10. "I never knew I could love someone so much, and yet still want to hide under a blanket with a box of wine."
11. "I'm not a morning person, but I've become one... at 6 am... every day... for the rest of my life."
12. "I've learned that 'self-care' is just a fancy way of saying 'take a 10-minute nap while your baby watches Netflix'."
13. "I'm not sure what's more surprising, how much I love my baby or how much I hate my baby's diaper blowouts."
14. "I've started to think that 'new mom' is just a euphemism for 'hot mess'."
15. "I never knew I could love someone so much, and yet still want to cry myself to sleep every night."

Remember, being a new mom is hard, but it's also incredibly rewarding. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, just know that you're not alone!