New day quotes funny

A new day! Here are some funny quotes to kick-start your day:

1. "Today is a new day, which gives me 24 hours to get it right." - Unknown
2. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm an 'whenever the coffee kicks in' person." - Unknown
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications." - Unknown
4. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
5. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch Netflix, pretend to be a functioning member of society." - Unknown
6. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed. Like a fashionably late train, but without the train." - Unknown
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
8. "Today's motto: 'I'm not lazy, I'm just on a permanent vacation... from adulting.'" - Unknown
9. "I'm not a procrastinator, I'm just a master of time management. I can do anything I want, anytime I want... tomorrow." - Unknown
10. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. Again." - Unknown

Hope these funny quotes bring a smile to your face and a spring to your step on this new day!