Go dye inspired comedian forever #comments

A fan of the one and only Dara Ó Briain, eh? Here are some comments inspired by his style of humor:

On the absurdity of everyday life

"I mean, have you ever tried to order a coffee in the morning? It's like trying to negotiate a peace treaty between warring nations. 'I'll have a latte, please.' 'Sorry, we're out of lattes. Would you like a cappuccino?' 'No, I specifically asked for a latte.' 'Well, we're out of lattes. Would you like a tea?' 'No, I want a latte!' 'Sorry, we're out of lattes. Would you like a glass of water?' 'NO, I WANT A LATTE!'"

On the futility of trying to be healthy

"I've been trying to eat more healthily, so I've started buying these pre-cut vegetable packs. You know, the ones that are just a few sad, wilted carrots and a limp lettuce leaf. I'm like, 'This is what I'm paying £3 for? I could grow my own vegetables in a cardboard box!' But no, I'll just eat it and pretend it's a balanced diet. 'Oh, I'm so healthy, I had a salad for lunch!' Yeah, with a side of regret and disappointment."

On the joys of being an adult

"I love being an adult. I mean, who doesn't love paying bills, doing taxes, and arguing with insurance companies? It's like being a kid, but with more responsibility and less fun. 'I'm an adult now, I can do whatever I want!' Yeah, like pay my rent on time and eat a balanced diet. That's the life."

On the ridiculousness of modern technology

"I was trying to set up my new smart speaker the other day, and it was like trying to solve a puzzle blindfolded while being attacked by a swarm of bees. 'Okay, Alexa, play some music.' 'Sorry, I didn't quite catch that.' 'ALEXA, PLAY SOME MUSIC!' 'Sorry, I'm still trying to figure out what you said.' 'ALEXA, PLAY SOME MUSIC, YOU INSOLENT MACHINE!' 'Sorry, I think you're getting a bit too worked up. Would you like to try again?' 'NO, I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC IN PEACE!'"

I hope these comments capture the essence of Dara Ó Briain's humor!