Funny new baby quotes

Congratulations on the new addition to your family! Here are some funny new baby quotes to bring a smile to your face:

1. "I'm not sleeping, I'm just recharging my baby-snuggling batteries."
2. "I used to be a functioning member of society. Now I'm just a human diaper."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for all the diaper changes."
4. "My baby is so cute, I'm pretty sure I'll never get tired of looking at them... until I get 3 hours of sleep."
5. "I'm not a morning person, but my baby is. And by 'morning person', I mean 'wake-me-up-at-3am-and-demand-food' person."
6. "I've been replaced by a tiny human who demands attention 24/7. I'm just a glorified diaper changer now."
7. "My baby's first word was 'mama', but I'm pretty sure it was just a reflex from all the screaming."
8. "I'm not a coffee snob, I'm just a sleep-deprived parent who needs caffeine to function."
9. "I used to be able to eat an entire pizza by myself. Now I'm lucky if I can eat a whole slice without getting interrupted."
10. "My baby's favorite game is 'peek-a-boo', but I'm pretty sure it's just a ploy to get me to play along and entertain them for hours."
11. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while simultaneously changing a diaper."
12. "My baby's first haircut was a traumatic experience for both of us. I'm still traumatized."
13. "I'm not a morning person, but my baby is. And by 'morning person', I mean 'wake-me-up-at-6am-and-demand-breakfast' person."
14. "I used to be able to have a conversation without being interrupted. Now I'm just a human pause button."
15. "My baby's favorite toy is my sanity. And by 'favorite toy', I mean 'favorite thing to destroy'."

Remember, these quotes are all in good fun, and being a new parent is an incredible experience that's worth all the sleepless nights and diaper changes in the world!