Funny joke news stories

Here are some funny joke news stories:

  1. BREAKING: Cat Found to be Behind Mysterious Sock Disappearances

A shocking investigation has revealed that a mischievous cat named Mr. Whiskers has been stealing socks from households across the country. When asked for comment, Mr. Whiskers' owner said, "I'm not surprised. He's always been a bit of a paws-itive thief."

  1. Local Man Arrested for Trying to Pay with Pizza

In a bizarre incident, a man in his 30s was arrested for attempting to pay for a round of drinks with a slice of pizza. When asked why he thought this was a good idea, the man replied, "I figured it was a pie-fectly reasonable exchange rate."

  1. New Study Reveals Most People Can't Tell the Difference Between a Real News Story and a Joke

A recent study has found that 9 out of 10 people can't tell the difference between a real news story and a joke. When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the study said, "It's a real crisis. We're not sure what's more alarming – the fact that people can't tell the difference or the fact that we're still using the phrase 'real crisis'."

  1. Area Man Spends 3 Hours Trying to Take Selfie with a Deer

A man in his 20s was spotted attempting to take a selfie with a deer in a local park. When asked why he thought this was a good idea, the man replied, "I wanted to get a buck-toothed smile for my Instagram."

  1. BREAKING: World Running Out of Excuses for Not Doing Chores

In a shocking turn of events, experts have announced that the world is running out of excuses for not doing chores. When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the International Association of Procrastinators said, "We're devastated. We've been relying on 'I'm too tired' and 'I'll do it later' for years. What are we supposed to do now?"

  1. Local Woman Accidentally Orders 100 Pounds of Avocados

A woman in her 30s was left stunned after accidentally ordering 100 pounds of avocados online. When asked how she planned to use them all, she replied, "I'm going to make guacamole for the entire neighborhood. And then I'll just have to start a guacamole-themed food truck."

  1. New App Allows Users to Order Pizza with Just a Thought

A new app has been launched that allows users to order pizza with just a thought. When asked how it works, a spokesperson for the app said, "It's like a pizza-fueled telepathy. Just think about the pizza you want, and it'll appear in front of you. Well, not literally, but you get the idea."

  1. BREAKING: Scientists Discover Cure for Monday Blues

In a groundbreaking discovery, scientists have announced that they have found a cure for the Monday Blues. When asked what the cure is, a spokesperson for the study said, "It's a special brand of coffee that we've developed. It's like a shot of happiness in a cup."

  1. Local Man Spends 5 Hours Watching Cat Videos

A man in his 40s was spotted spending 5 hours watching cat videos online. When asked why he thought this was a good use of his time, the man replied, "I'm just trying to improve my cat-itude. You know, for when I'm old and grey and have nothing but cat videos to keep me company."

  1. BREAKING: World Running Out of Jokes

In a shocking turn of events, experts have announced that the world is running out of jokes. When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the International Association of Comedians said, "We're devastated. We've been relying on the same old jokes for years. What are we supposed to do now?"