Breaking news comedy

Breaking News Comedy! Here are some hilarious and ridiculous "breaking news" stories:

URGENT:

• "BREAKING: Cat Found to be Plotting World Domination from Behind Couch Cushion" (Source: Feline Intelligence Agency)
• "BREAKING: New Study Reveals 99.9% of People Who Use the Phrase 'Breaking News' Are Just Trying to Sound Important" (Source: Science Journal)
• "BREAKING: Local Man Spotted Wearing 'I'm with Stupid' T-Shirt, Immediately Regrets Life Choices" (Source: Eyewitness News)

DEVELOPING STORY:

• "BREAKING: Mysterious 'Taco Tuesday' Phenomenon Spreads Across Nation, Experts Baffled" (Source: Taco Tuesday Task Force)
• "BREAKING: New Species of Sassy Teenager Discovered, Scientists Warn of 'Eye-Rolling Pandemic'" (Source: Teenager Institute of Science)
• "BREAKING: Local Coffee Shop Introduces 'Caffeine-Induced Anxiety' as New Menu Item" (Source: Coffee Connoisseur Daily)

LATEST UPDATE:

• "BREAKING: World Leaders Unite to Declare 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' as Official National Anthem" (Source: International Relations Bureau)
• "BREAKING: New Study Reveals 100% of People Who Use the Phrase 'Fake News' Are Actually Just Trying to Sound Cool" (Source: Science Journal)
• "BREAKING: Local Man Spotted Wearing 'I'm Not a Morning Person' T-Shirt, Immediately Regrets Life Choices" (Source: Eyewitness News)

BREAKING:

• "BREAKING: Aliens Land on Earth, Immediately Ask for Directions to the nearest Starbucks" (Source: Alien Invasion Agency)
• "BREAKING: New Species of Procrastinator Discovered, Scientists Warn of 'Productivity Pandemic'" (Source: Procrastination Institute)
• "BREAKING: Local Man Spotted Wearing 'I'm Not a Morning Person' T-Shirt, Immediately Regrets Life Choices (Again)" (Source: Eyewitness News)

Stay tuned for more breaking news comedy!