Biblical news headlines

What a unique request! Here are some humorous biblical news headlines:

The Daily Ark

• "Floodwaters Rise, Noah's Ark Still on Schedule for Launch" (Genesis 6:13-22)
• "Rain, Rain, Go Away: Soggy Skies Dampen Outdoor Activities" (Genesis 7:11-12)

The Jerusalem Times

• "King David's Son, Solomon, Takes the Throne: 'I'm the New Guy Around Here'" (1 Kings 1:32-40)
• "Prophets of Doom and Gloom Predict Doom for Israel" (Jeremiah 18:11)

The Nazareth News

• "Jesus Christ, Son of God, Born in Nazareth: 'It's a Miracle!'" (Luke 2:1-20)
• "Jesus Heals the Sick, Feeds the Hungry: 'Just Another Day in the Life of a Miracle Worker'" (Matthew 4:23-25)

The Babylonian Bulletin

• "Babylonian Empire Conquers Jerusalem: 'We're Number One!'" (2 Kings 25:1-21)
• "Daniel in the Lion's Den: 'I'm Not Lion, I'm Just a Guy in a Den'" (Daniel 6:16-23)

The Corinthian Chronicle

• "Paul's Letters to the Corinthians: 'Don't Be a Fool, Don't Be a Fool...'" (1 Corinthians 3:18)
• "The Church in Corinth: 'We're Still Figuring Out This Whole 'Love One Another' Thing'" (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

The Revelation Report

• "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: 'We're Just Trying to Make a Living, Man'" (Revelation 6:1-8)
• "The End Times: 'It's About Time Something Exciting Happened Around Here'" (Revelation 20:11-15)

I hope these biblical news headlines bring a smile to your face!