All over the world, men are known to exhibit a very high level of temperament compared to the women folk. However, research has shown that temperament can actually be tamed if there is a genuine intention to so do.
The following are some suggestions arrived at as to how men can tame their temperament:
1. Always think before you speak: One fact that is very glaring is that at the very heat of a particular moment, it is always very easy to make statements that one would later regret. It is therefore imperative for a man, to reason for a few moment to recollect his thoughts before making any statement. He should even go further to allow others involved in the matter to do the same.
2. Express anger when you are calm: Another lesson to be learnt here is having to do with being calm before letting out ones disaffection for a situation. As man, immediately you begin to think very clearly, you can then express you displeasure over an issue in an assertive and unconfrontational manner. Let your concerns and needs be clearly and directly known without causing injury to other or attempt to get them controlled.
3.Embark on physical exercise: The need to embark on physical exercise of taming temperament cannot be over-emphasised. This is because it assists in reducing stress that can result into becoming angry. Where it is observed that your anger is getting higher, it is most often advised that such a man should embark on what is termed a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a short break: Here, it is important that men should learn to give themselves short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. In other words, short periods of quiet time might help feel better prepared to take charge of what is ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Look for solutions: Rather than place serious attention on what would trigger annoyance, it is better to apply strength on what would bring about solution to the issue at hand. For instance, in a situation where your son messes up his room, it is suggested that the door of the affected room is closed, where your wife is late for dinner every night, the appropriate thing to do, is to schedule meals later in the evening, or better still, have an agreement to eat on your own a few times a week. Always remind yourself, that the concept of anger will not in any way bring about solution to any crisis.
6. Stick with ‘I’ statements: By this, and in order to avoid placing criticism or blame which could tantamount to increase in tension, it is better to use the “I” statements to describe the problem. Here, a man should show respect and specifics. For instance, he say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes,” instead of, “You never do any housework.”
7. Desist from bearing grudge: One thing that is certain, is that forgiveness is germane and remains a major tool towards resolving crisis. Where a man allows anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, he may have himself swallowed up by his own bitterness or sense of injustice. However, if such a man can forgive someone who angered him, he might both learn from the situation. It is not realistic to think that everyone should behave exactly as you want at all times.
8. Apply humour to ease tension: One factor that can help diffuse tension is lightening one’s self. Also, apply humour to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. The avoidance of sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse, is necessary.
9. Practice relaxation skills: Anytime your temper rises, introduce relaxation skills to work. Put into practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help: It could be challenging to learn how to control anger at times. In a situation like this, it is advisable to consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.